Well I haven't been able to get myself in the mood to blog over the past few months. Life is busy and there's a lot going on, but a lot of the reason is wrapped up in the following…
Some time back I posted a series of thoughts on the Weak and the Strong, from Romans 14. I'm not sure how much good all my prior thinking on the subject actually did once it came time to put it into practice. This year—yes, all year— I've been involved in a controversy resulting over decisions made about direction and forms of worship, and leadership approaches, at the congregation I've attended for over twenty-five years. I started out, with the best of intentions, by agreeing to jump into what I thought was the middle of the controversy and trying to bring factions together in a mutually workable solution. That ideal fell apart and turned into a grand mess pretty fast, and I remain saddened over the improper thoughts, words and deeds attributable to many people, myself included. It's going to take me quite a while to finish processing everything in my own heart and mind and get myself reoriented as far as how I view… well, lots of things about religion, faith, community and people. There's a whole book that could be written about what we've gone through, how and why.
I've done my best to apologize to those people who were hurt or disappointed by anything I did or said, but I've come to realize that apologies don't simply fix everything and make it new. Again, though, for any who may read this blog and who still feel injuries inflicted by my hand, I am deeply sorry. Any harm I caused to people, to a congregation, or to the name of God was not done in malice—naiveté, ignorance and foolishness, yes, but not malice. I made mistakes, and I'm sorry. If saying what you need to say will bring you healing, then I continue to extend an ear, and a hand of friendship.
I've learned several things anew and to a greater depth of conviction. Paul was right when he implied that the weak judge the strong, and that the strong hold the weak in contempt. Jesus was right when he said everything hangs on loving God and loving others. Paul was right when he said love is more important than faith. I was right whenever in life I first realized that the central problem of Man is pride. And I won't even try to list the dozens of other things.
The latest irony is that I've been asked to speak at a summer seminar in another city regarding what I've learned through all of this in terms of the Will of God and unity amongst Christians. At the moment I'm thinking that such a speech would take about one minute: what I've learned with deeper conviction is that we are all united in the basic fact that we are broken, frail and poor, and that God's Will is for us to love one another freely and deeply in the midst of all our brokenness. And, I suppose I could add that I've learned from all empirical evidence that actually doing this is much more difficult for us than I once thought.
Not much of a post for all this silent time, but it's a start. God's Love remains True, though it be carried on earth in vessels of clay.
0 comments:
Post a Comment